Glossary Term: kink

Definition: "A unique, personalized interest or preference in sexual activity, often involving unconventional practices, that enhances the intimacy and pleasure between consenting partners within the bonds of marriage."

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SWM 147 – How do you know if you’re sexually compatible

The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, “You need to know if you’re sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship.”

And it sounds like sound reasoning.  We test-drive cars before buying them.  We have probation periods for people we hire at work.  We sample foods before purchasing them.  Shouldn’t sex, which is one of the most intimate parts of marriage, be tested beforehand to make sure you’re a good match?

It’s a compelling argument that convinces many people to abandon their principles.  It makes you question your morality.  It promises both immediate and long-term gratification.

However, it’s based on a flawed premise.

BDSM Survey Results

During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others who were engaging in BDSM activities didn’t think what they were doing qualified, others who wished they were doing such things but didn’t know how to start, and those who thought it was disgusting that I even considered asking questions about such a topic.

or the last three weeks, I’ve spent evenings and weekends digging through the data, coding it, doing pivot tables, building charts, running correlation formulas, and more, trying to get what I can out of it. It’s aptly called data mining because often it feels like sifting through a lot of rocks and dirt just to try and find a nugget of something valuable contained.

Today, I’m going to share what I found.

SWM 090 – March 2022 Anonymous Questions

Answering Anonymous Questions about Married Sex

Topics include:
Husband who gets defensive about possible porn use
Did I change my mind about anal sex?
How to I tell my wife that more sex helps with temptation?
Is mutual masturbation okay if you’re separated due to work?
Haven’t been able to have sex for 4 years due to vaginismus
Friend can’t have sex with his wife because of prior porn use
Is a panty fetish a problem?
Wife hates being pregnant and being a mother

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