Becoming more sexually engaged – For Christian Wives

(28 customer reviews)


$50 refunded if you complete the course.

Recapture that “honeymoon” feeling
Are you a Christian wife who struggles to be sexually engaged in your marriage?

This course will help by:

  • Breaking down your unhealthy mental barriers about sex
  • Learning about your husband’s desire for you
  • Help you be more willing to accept him, and yourself, as sexual beings

If you have a desire to become more sexually engaged but are not quite sure how to start, this is the course for you.

2-week money-back guarantee: If at any point in the first 2 weeks, you decide that this course isn’t for you, or that it’s just not the right time, we will either refund your money, or we can defer you to the next cohort – your choice.

Currently on pre-order, accepting participants for the starting September 2024. 



Participants in our pilot group found that by the end of the course:

  • They desired sex more (23% increase)
  • They initiated sex twice as often (some of the first time)
  • They had sex more often (53% increase)
  • They were more content with their sex life (38% increase)
  • Their sexual confidence more than doubled

100% of course participants felt it was worth the investment, both in terms of time and cost.

Our pilot group consisted of wives whose age ranged from 29 to 57 and had been married between 7 and 25 years.

What is the course like? How long does it take?

The course takes about 3 months to complete. We’ve spread it out to be a lesson or challenge every 3 days so that it won’t require reformatting your life around it, but will also give you enough time between the lessons to put them into practice.

Each module contains 3 lessons and a challenge at the end.  With each lesson, there’s a quick worksheet, the lesson itself, and then a discussion question prompt for the forum.  It’s your choice to participate in the forum or not, but we find that wives who do get more out of the course.

At the end of each module, there is a slightly longer worksheet to help you reflect on what you’ve learned and to give us some feedback as well as bench-mark any changes you’ve noticed.

The lessons are all in text, so no worries about kids listening in, but aren’t overly long each lesson, so if you’re not much of a reader, you’ll be fine.

If you have any further questions, feel free to email [email protected].

28 reviews for Becoming more sexually engaged – For Christian Wives

  1. Alyssa

    Biblical, critical marriage dissection in this course. I spent most of our marriage believing that sex was something “he needed”, and it was my wifely duty to meet his needs. This turned into resentment over time. This course has put us in the path to healing AND better sex. To God be the glory—JayDee’s gentle leading through science, scripture, and sexuality is excellently crafted. I highly recommend this course for anyone looking for hope for their marriage. The effort is worthwhile.

  2. S (verified owner)

    This course has been a game changer for my marriage. Not only did I learn more about intimacy and sex in marriage and how important it is, but I learned a lot about myself. Going through this course helped me face some obstacles and understand how to navigate through them. This has definitely improved our marriage, relationship and intimacy. It is worth the investment!

  3. C (verified owner)

    This course has seriously helped to positively change my life in more ways than one! The course content, challenges, and discussions helped me to realize that sex wasn’t just something that was done whenever I felt like it or was in the mood but something that was very vital to my marriage. I learned how to communicate, and therefore, connect, with my husband sexually and otherwise. I really appreciated how this course showed how God views sex in marriage in the Bible and I also really appreciated Jay’s male perspective, which really gave me more understanding for my husband. I was also able to gain a connection to my course mates through the forum discussions.

    I could probably go on an on about the benefits I received from taking the BMSE course, but I’ll just say that if you’re considering to take this course or are on the fence about it, please do it! I can also say that my husband saw it as a really good investment as well; he was quite happy with the results 😀 I’m thankful to Jay and his wife for allowing God to use them to point people back to Him to heal their marriages.

  4. Valerie (verified owner)

    I highly recommend this course to any Christian wanting to grow their marriage. It does not just cover your sexual relationship with your husband, although it does in depth of course, it considers your marriage as a whole and how to develop a deeper level of intimacy and connection with your spouse. Both the faith-based as well as the science-based explanations have helped me tremendously in understanding how important sex is in my marriage, but also to change how I approach it. From the very beginning of the course, it continuously challenged me to shift my mind and hence my behavior to be more intimate with my husband. The community of participants is very supportive and makes you feel not alone in this. Jay is very responsive and supportive with any questions. If you are on the fence about taking this class, I can tell you, it’s worth your investment!

  5. Joann Hoy (verified owner)

    Even a couple, married for 32 years can use the information to help adjust their sex lives. My husband and I have been able to talk more about sex with the help of this course. I appreciate the in-depth information and keen insight.

  6. Anne (verified owner)

    Would highly recommend this course for all married couples. Regardless of where you are in your marriage or sex life, there is always room for improvement and this course does a good job of catering to couples across the spectrum. It was very valuable going through the course with other wives and having the regular feedback and collaboration. I do think you get out of this course what you put into it. The more time and effort you put in to complete the challenges and execute what you learn, will increase the rewards! I thoroughly enjoyed this course. I know that it has provided me with a lot of valuable content and strategies that I can incorporate into my marriage/sex life and build on for years to come.

  7. Emma (verified owner)

    Would highly recommend doing this course regardless of where you’re at in your relationship. Even if you’re in a really good place and have a great sex life. You can never stop learning. This course has some great practical things about our physical bodies, hormones and emotions and how they work together and can affect our sex life. It is great to have a safe place to learn more about sex and discuss things with others to learn together. I thoroughly enjoyed this course. If you are trying to decide whether you should do it, go for it. It’s absolutely worth the money.

  8. Mary Nickels (verified owner)

    The becoming more sexually engaged class for wives has been a great blessing to me and our marriage. It has helped me understand more what he thinks/feels and to change my mindset to have more of a servant heart, while also helping me understand my needs and making that known. It’s definitely worth the money!

  9. Barbara (verified owner)

    Great course. Love the Christian perspective. Not enough safe places to learn and discuss marriage and sex with a Christian framework. The coaching from Jay Dee is gentle and progressive. He does an excellent job of building a foundation of knowledge and common language in order to allow for discussion and personal introspection. I appreciate the way the course is designed to step from one idea or thought to the next. After 20 years of marriage, I still needed help figuring out how to fully open up sexually with my husband. This course has been very valuable in helping me be more aware of the things in my own heart that have been blocking intimacy with myself, my husband and even God. This course has helped me find the joy in “knowing ” my husband and letting him know me. there is more progress to be made, but I am much further on that journey as a result of this course.

  10. Lisa

    I went into this course believing I did not need to change anything in our relationship, but I learned we are both responsible to each other’s feelings. Being married 28 years, I have learned we feed each other’s love and doubt. Working through each section of this course, some difficult and some reassuring, I have found something new about myself and about my spouse. Each of the challenges has been an affirmation of my love for my spouse and my willingness to provide what he needs in our marriage as well as being able to voice my needs. Intimacy is the glue to our marriage that needs to be reapplied sometimes, and this course has helped (us) do that. I highly recommend this course to all wives; risk to make a great marriage better.

  11. Cynthia (verified owner)

    My husband and I have been married for 35 years, but because we had special needs children we really didnt have time to work on our marriage. We spent all our time on dealing with the kids and their issues. We got to be empty nesters for a couple of years, and then our youngest had a series of strokes. Four 3 years we lived 1/2 a mile apart, him in our house and me in a handicapped accessible apartment with our daughter. We have come to realize that she is not going to be recovering more than she has now. We are working on moving to a residential situation for her so I can go home.
    We have neglected our marriage, and have lived in a sexual desert, for years. We weren’t even initiating sex anymore. With this course, things are much better. While we still have a way to go to be where we would like to be, Jay has taken me step by step through reintroducing sex in our marriage. Its been easy at times and challenging at others. But it has been worth the risk every time I dared to take on one of the challenges. This course was a bargain considering the way we have grown as a couple. Intimacy is key to a long lasting marriage, and sex is such a big part of that. Thanks Jay!!

  12. Trish

    This was a great course. In an area of my life that I know I need to be more mindful, this helped. I enjoyed getting worksheets and lessons every couple days to keep me in the frame of mind of improving this area of my marriage. I can’t say I ended the course with it all figured out….but I can say this course gave me words for issues I didn’t even know I had. I will continue to prayerfully use the info in this course to improve my marriage. The challenges were good and I was able to do them according to my comfort zone. I would highly recommend this course.

  13. Jasmine (verified owner)

    Being newlyweds for the past 6 years, life has changed our intimacy habits. This course has put things back into perspective and brought up areas that were hindering our intimacy. I’m very grateful for this course and would highly recommend it to anyone looking to improve their married se. Lives!

  14. LS (verified owner)

    great couse, i am so glad i took it. it is so worth the money, it was such a benefit for my marriage! thanks to the author!

  15. Ashley (verified owner)

    Even though we are still struggling in our marriage I know that this course has been a huge step in helping us become closer intimately. I look forward to continue to use the material as we continue to make steps in the right direction. Thank-you so much for all the hard work you put into this course. Super helpful and highly recommended to all marriages even if you are just looking for a new way to look at your sex life !!!

  16. Renae

    I took this course very hesitantly, but it gave me a new perspective on God’s intended design for our intimacy in marriage.

  17. Faith (verified owner)

    My husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary last year. We have had some big challenges over the years and this website was found when we really needed help in changing our focus in our marriage and growing together! I enjoyed taking this course as it helped remind me of things that I have been learning and growing in. The sharing and honesty in group discussion was encouraging even when I wasn’t feeling super chatty. I especially appreciated the extra ideas for ways of connecting as husband and wife. Thank you Jay (and Christina) for making this a safe place to encourage and be encouraged to live an ever deepening sexually fulfilled healthy marriage! I highly recommend this course specifically and this website too!

  18. Rebekah (verified owner)

    We’ve been married 14 years and 3 kids. After some struggle we started seeing a therapist and committed to laying a new foundation for future years. Part of that recently has been a focus on growing in greater intimacy (including sex). This course reminded me of so much ground we’ve covered and improved in our marriage. I wish I would have had/used many of these resources before/early in marriage. What I loved about this course… the forum! It’s a place to ask questions you can’t ask in many circles and see what others are learning/struggling with and help each other! I also really liked the challenges and even though many were not a struggle to do, they prioritized sex and intimacy and our relationship is stronger for having placed importance there! Thanks for this resource and site. I would recommend the course and should be required for those new to marriage!

  19. Suzanne Corry (verified owner)

    This course has changed the trajectory of our marriage. In the past 3 years, we have walked through the valley of death when our 25 year old son died of opioid addiction. Soon after, our marriage came under attack and our faith was put to the test! We fought for our marriage and with humility, prayer and forgiveness, the Lord honored our commitment to Him and to each other. On a positive note, our oldest daughter is getting married in 2 months and our youngest daughter has begun her Freshman year at College. All that to say, my husband and I are officially empty-nesters AND we have survived some stressful and traumatic times. Investing in our marriage through the BMSE course, as well as marriage counseling over the past 3 years, has taught us both so much about each other and our God given purpose as husband and wife! As I hear other empty-nester couples express their concerns regarding intimacy in their marriages, in this new season of life, I now feel equipped to share what I have learned through Jay Dee’s course. I have already recommended it to one of my friends.
    Thank you Jay Dee for your ministry!!

  20. Cheryl (verified owner)

    Being married for 19 years and having 3 children, our intimacy was falling to the bottom of our, or I should say my, priority list. My husband was always willing and I was always exhausted. Being exhausted became a habit and one I couldn’t figure out how to break. Add that to always being told that sex was sin (growing up), I was at a loss of how to help overcome and fix this hole in our marriage.
    Several months ago, I started listening to Jay’s podcast which led me to this course. The timing and content couldn’t have been more perfect. He gave Biblical insight that answered so many of my questions, motivating challenges and all around practical solutions. In a world where commitment to marriage is hardly honored, it is so important that we do the things that keep our relationship strong, inspired, and steadfast. This course has already prompted my husband and I to reconnect on many levels. I am grateful!

  21. Jennifer (verified owner)

    I have been married for 20 years and have spent the last 13 raising children. It’s so easy to put them first and forget about the other person that craves your attention. I strive to keep sex a priority, but I struggle at it, too. Jay’s class showed me why it’s important to keep up the good fight and engage more sexually with my husband. Jay understands the struggles wives have with balancing family duties, exhaustion, body image issues, and other barriers to intimacy. He leads on a gentle path towards reconciliation and mutual fulfillment.

  22. Alicen (verified owner)

    My husband and I have been married for 7 years with 2 kids and throughout the span of our marriage I have been a gate keeper – continually saying no to sex because I was tired or didn’t feel like it. Sex honestly felt like a chore. I did notice my husband feeling sad but he wouldn’t talk about it. He then sent me the email he had gotten from Jay about this course. I decided to do it because I did feel terrible that I said no all the time and I hoped something could change. Little did I know how much the things Jay explained and pointed out would change how I looked at sex. There are so many things that, as wives, we don’t realize about our husbands. I don’t want to spoil anything, but the truth is that our husbands aren’t just “I want sex.” They are “I want to connect with you.” And that realization really started to change my perspective. I feel much more confident in myself and our sex life knowing the things I know now. I HIGHLY recommend this course if you as a wife tend to say no a lot or are even put off by sex. Jay has an extremely gentle approach to tackling the issues around sex that we have in our marriages.

  23. Jane

    My husband and I have been married for 9 years and it’s been great. We’ve had good, frequent sex but this course was for me so I could find out how to engage myself in ‘his’ sex, sex I never denied him but often felt was a duty. I have learnt that sex is more than just something my husband wants and doesn’t need to be a duty. We’ve been having some really great sex since. Really good course and would recommend.

  24. T (verified owner)

    My wife and I just completed reading this course together. It was very helpful for us. We have been married for 35+ years now. We have 4 grown children who are all out of the house now so we are empty nesters. There were things in our past that we just never dealt with that this course got us to talk about. We were headed down a path of rejecting each other. We are now starting to communicate about the past and are trying to get over it.

    Another course that my wife took is at – it was very helpful as well.

    My wife told me that these 2 Bible studies offer down to earth practical things that apply to real life. Other marriage seminars and Bible studies we have attended have been very generic and have not been all that helpful.

  25. Jay Dee (verified owner)

    Maidservants of Christ wrote an excellent review over on their site. If you want more information, you can read it here:

  26. Linda (verified owner)

    My husband and I just celebrated our 27th year of marriage. 4 kids later…2 of which have gone on to graduate college and the others currently attending college…you know there have been MANY things to give our attention to other than our marriage. Now that we are “empty nesters” my husband and I had to go back and remember why we were together in the first place! See, we didn’t get it, the Bible tells us to love God, then spouse, then kids etc. I came to realize that I needed a sexual “awakening!” This course gave me such insight and helped me understand that God created sex to keep us connected and share that closeness that we had at one time but seemed to lose along the way. The way most everything was backed up with scripture was so enlighten. I was also able to get more insight as to why my husband wanted this closeness and also understand maybe why I wasn’t giving him the intimacy that he desired. I would say this course was very instrumental in giving this old girl her “groove back”. 🙂 My husband is pretty happy about it too!

  27. Heather (verified owner)

    When I first started this course I was struggling with even wanting to be with my husband sexually. He had confessed viewing pornography for a long time and it was hard for me to be engaged in being intimate with him. Although this course has nothing to do with pornography recovery what it did for me was transform my thinking and transform more than just the intimate parts of my marriage. It took me through the process of understanding what normal is and that things I was blaming on his sin where indeed normal behavior for most men. The course included challenges in each unit and I enjoyed trying each of them. This course transformed my marriage. Not just in the sexual intimacy it change a lot of other areas too. I would highly recommend this course to anyone wanting to have a deeper relationship with your husband. Thank you Jay for writing it.

  28. NN

    Having being married for 8 years, one would think that our marriage is still on ‘honeymoon stage’. Life has taught me that in marriage, one never ‘arrives’, hence I was glad when I was given the opportunity to be part of the course ‘Becoming more sexually engaged for Christian wives’.

    With the birth of my 2 children and raising them, it is easy to fall out of love with your spouse. The course helped me get that ‘spark’ back in my marriage again. I learnt about things that were important to my husband and the great thing was that the views were from a male perspective. It is amazing how my husband sees the change in our sex life and for me, I would always want to see him this happy all the days of our lives.

    At times we wives think we ‘know it all’ and end up treating our husbands like children. I have learnt how to communicate and get out of my comfort zone when it comes to loving my husband sexually. Not only that, but also how important sex is to my husband, how he connects with me through sex.

    Even though I did the course, I will continue going back to the modules to re-read them as the material has really been eye opening and the contents are applicable in my daily life.

    I wouldn’t mind one for the men also;-)


Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *