Sexual Sin & Temptation Archives - Uncovering Intimacy

SWM 254 – Sex Before Marriage – When You Remove Covenant from Intimacy

In my last post, I wrote about how sex is an act of worship because having sex, the way God intended, gives worth to Him. It honours what He created by using it as He intended.

However, our society is doing its best to invert that by taking away elements of God’s plan so as to distort sex. To make it not something that’s worship and creative, but rather destructive to ourselves, to each other, and to society as a whole.

So, today we’re going to explore sex outside of marriage, or what happens when you remove the covenant from sexual intimacy.

And to be clear, the legal status of the relationship is not the big problem here. It’s the intentional lifelong monogamous commitment to each other. Arguably, many marriages in the Bible are considered marriages simply because they had sex. However, sex is meant to seal a covenant, not substitute for one.

Is a sexual activity wrong if it was learned from a sinful source?

Does the source of an idea determine whether or not it’s good? Let’s say you had a prior porn addiction and you saw something you want to try with your spouse, does that make it now sinful? Here’s a question I received a while ago that I’m going to address today.

Are you sabotaging your sex life like I do?

I’ve spent the last few years trying to get better insight into the mind of a spouse who desires less sex. Why? Because I’m married to one, and one of my goals in life is to make her feel known and loved. Unfortunately, the more

Anonymous Questions – April 19, 2018

We only received one anonymous question in the last few weeks, which I discussed in our mailing list. I’m posting my response here on the blog so that those not on the weekly newsletter can read it, but also so people can start a discussion

Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress?

A couple of weeks ago, I received this question on our anonymous questions page: My husband wants to occasionally dress as a woman, including makeup, wig, etc. He insists there is no sex or “turn on” with it. Early in our marriage he was open

Trapped gatekeepers – blame the guard, not the prisoner

Trapped gatekeepers - blame the guard, not he prisoner

In some marriages, the spouse with the lower sex drive simply decides their perspective is the most important and ends up being the gatekeeper of sex. That is, they decide when sex is, what sort of sex there is, and generally it’s given out fairly

Why is sex better when my spouse is drunk?

Here’s a question I know quite a few people struggle with. I know I have in the past. To be honest, the idea is still a bit tempting even though we don’t drink anymore. I often like to get my wife drunk so we can

Is it okay to masturbate next to my spouse if they’re asleep?

Today we have a question from a reader asking about using a vibrator in bed next to her husband after sex (when he’s fallen asleep): Hi JD, do you think it’s okay for me to use a vibrator to orgasm next to hubby after he

Have you prepared your kids for the first time they will see porn?

Your children will watch porn. Does that thought terrify you? It did for me the first time I thought it. And before you think, “No, I can keep them from it”, I’m sad to say you can’t. Not in this world that they’re growing up

How do you stop sinful behaviours? – Part 2

Last week I wrote a post about how to stop sinful behaviours. In truth, I only gave half the answer. I wrote about recognizing how wretched we are and continuously dying to self. I focused on that because as Christians, we tend to skip that

How do you stop sinful behaviours?

I get a lot of comments and questions from people asking “How do I stop sinful behaviour?” and it’s a difficult question to answer. Whether you’re trying to quit porn, yelling at your kids, or overeating, it’s really the same issue. Our sinful nature is