Looking for a book to help your marriage? Here’s my list of recommended books that I’ve read and I felt would be helpful. Most of them I wish I had read far earlier in our marriage, and some before being married.
First, of course, I have to let you know about our books from Sex Within Marriage:
Help for Christian Husbands
Are you a husband that is desperate to understand his wife and her most intimate needs? This is a marriage book that is just right for you. It will address issues that you are struggling with as a man and how it affects your marriage.
What Sex Within Marriage Help For Husbands Has to Offer
- an understanding of why you are having a hard time connecting with your wife
- developing a playful attitude with your spouse and learning to flirt
- a Biblical perspective on sex in marriage
- working through marital problems in a Biblical way
- and much much more
Help for Christian Wives
If you are a woman that is ready to grow her relationship and take it to a deeper level, then this book is for you.
What this book has to offer
- A clear understanding of a man’s sex drive
- A look at how to talk to your spouse about your sexual needs
- A Biblical look at frequently asked questions in regards to sex
- Who should take the lead when it comes to intimacy
- What to do about not having enough energy for physical connection
- Working through marital problems in a productive way
- How to handle emotional holidays
- and much more
If you want to feel a renewed love for your spouse and have an abundant relationship, this is a great place to start.
The rest are in no particular order.
Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship, & Life Together
by Mark & Grace Driscoll
Despite the recent scandal, this book is the best, perhaps the only, book I’ve read about friendship within marriage. For more information, you can read my review of Real Marriage.
Eden Derailed: A Theology of Sex
by Matt Williams
This book has the best reasoning that I’ve seen for why you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. I wish I had read this when I was a teenager. For more information, you can read my review of Eden Derailed.
The Love Dare
by Alex & Stephen Kendrick
This is a book that would have been good earlier in my marriage. It is a solid look at the basics of loving your wife. I think this would also be hugely beneficial to a couple that is feeling like they no longer love their spouse, but wish they did. It goes through 40 days, step by step in how to feel, show and understand love from a biblical perspective.
The Respect Dare
by Nina Roesner
The Respect Dare is the companion book to The Love Dare. It is specifically gear towards wives who want to learn to show respect in their household towards their husband. My wife read this book and said she was surprised at how much she learned about her own attitude, the words she used and the things she did that she never even thought of as disrespectful.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
by Gary Chapman
I don’t know what to say about this book. It is quoted so often, by so many, in so many contexts. It has become a foundational piece for many workshops, courses and lectures. It has been used as a group study, as a tool for increasing communication, and really extends into every relationship you have. The 5 Love Languages teach that each person shares and receives love in five main ways, that typically spouses do not share and receive love in the same ways, and so we must learn to “speak” and “understand” each other’s love language.
Sex Savvy: A Lovemaking Guide for Christian Wives
by J. Parker
Sex Savvy is all about teaching Christian wives how to be better lovers. It’s written by J. Parker, who owns www.HotHolyHumorous.com, and true to the blog’s name, the book is both insightful and fun to read. I felt a bit odd reading it as a husband, instead of a wife, but I couldn’t put it down, I enjoyed every word. For more information, you can read my book review of Sex Savvy.
The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts
By Shannon Ethridge
The Fantasy Fallacy is a book dedicated to pulling back the curtain on our sexual thoughts and fantasies. About getting to the core, the reasons of what they are, so that we can either move beyond them (if they are harmful), or embrace them (if they pose no threat). For more information, you can read my book review of The Fantasy Fallacy.
The Passion Principles: Celebrating Sexual Freedom in Marriage
By Shannon Ethridge
The Passion Principles is less a book than a collection of questions and answers. It comprises of 40 questions about sexuality within Marriage, from the physical, to the emotional, to the spiritual. Because of the format, there is no need to read through the entire thing straight, you can jump around, or just pick a handful of topics and leave it until later to read the rest without worrying that you’ll forget where you were.
Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon
By Dr. Joseph & Lina Dillow & Dr. Peter & Lorraine Pintus
Intimacy Ignited is a walkthrough of the Song of Solomon. It seeks to explain the language used, it’s cultural significance (as best as we can tell), possible interpretations, and applications in your marriage, and as dry as that may sound, this book is anything but. It was designed to be a study book for a small group, and so my wife and I read this book with 4 other couples, discussing our marriages weekly in a small group for over 2 months. There is a lot of information in this book and practical step by step applications to improve intimacy in your marriage.
Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart
Dr. Juli Slattery, Dannah K. Gresh
I loved this book, even though it was written for women. In fact, I read it in a single sitting (it’s only 176 pages). This book serves two purposes: Firstly, it’s two author’s opinions on the 50 Shades of Grey fad. One read the book, one did not (but knows the general story line and content from the “buzz”). They independently came up with their own thoughts and then together wrote a book, seeing that their finding overlapped. They did this to dispel the defense that “you have to read the book to understand” when Christians suggest you shouldn’t read 50 Shades of Grey. Second, it is both a commentary on the book, as well as a commentary on women’s minds, what appeals to them, and why the book has causes such a stir within the minds of those who have read it. I would suggest this book to anyone who has questions about how romantic/erotic literature can have such a hold on women’s minds. You can read my expanded review of the book here.
37 Questions for spouses to ask each other about sex
Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.