Newlywed Coaching
Newlywed Coaching · The first year of marriage
The first year sets patterns that run for decades. Give it a plan.
How you fight, spend, pray and make love is still being decided in year one. These are 48 weekly lessons built for that year, one theme a month. Add a monthly coaching call with Jay Dee if you want someone in your corner while you work through them.
- Serving couples since 2012
- 660+ articles
- Grounded in Scripture & survey data
Year one, on purpose
- A lesson every week, 48 across the year with a week off each quarter, yours to keep.
- One theme a month, from listening and repair to sex, money and in-laws.
- Read together in about an hour, with questions that get you talking.
- Optional coaching: a private monthly call with Jay Dee, about your actual life.
Why the first year
In year one, the clay is still soft.
What usually happens
Most couples who end up in a coach’s office are five, ten, fifteen years in. They are sorting through patterns nobody chose on purpose. Nobody sits down and decides how they’ll fight, or handle money, or do intimacy. It gets made up on the fly, one reaction at a time, until it hardens into “just how we are.”
Why now
In the first year, almost all of it is still being written, whether you’re paying attention or not. Not because anything is wrong. Because something is almost always not quite right, and one degree off course in year one is far easier to fix than fifteen degrees off course in year ten.
Inside one lesson
What one week looks like
A new lesson arrives in your inbox each week, with a week off every quarter so a busy stretch never puts you behind. Set aside about an hour and work through it together. Every lesson follows the same shape, so you always know what’s next.
- Open in prayer, with a short prompt for the two of you.
- The big idea, where this week fits and what it builds on from last week.
- An icebreaker, something light to get you both talking before the real work.
- The teaching, the core idea with Scripture, what the research says, and a few simple ways to start.
- Fifteen discussion questions in three stages: the idea, then your home, then your heart.
- 10 & 10, ten minutes writing on one prompt, then ten minutes sharing what you wrote.
- A weekly challenge, one small, real thing to try before the next lesson.
- Close in prayer, asking God for what this week needs.
Read a sample lesson: Month 3, Week 2, “The LADDER Approach”
Twelve months, twelve themes
The year, one theme a month
Four lessons per theme, each going deeper on a different piece of it. The skills come first, so the harder topics have something to stand on. Sex and money come early on purpose, while goodwill is still high.
- Month 1The first-year mindsetWhy the patterns you set now compound, and the family defaults you each brought in.
- Month 2AttitudeAssume love. The story you tell about your spouse runs the marriage. Gratitude, out loud.
- Month 3CommunicationListen before you solve. The LADDER approach. Knowing when they want help and when they want a hug.
- Month 4Conflict and repairDecide whether you keep your parents’ way of fighting. Build a repair ritual before you need it.
- Month 5Sex and intimacyDesire mismatch is normal. Talking about sex without fighting about it.
- Month 6MoneyYour first joint decisions: accounts, budget, giving and saving as a unit.
- Month 7In-laws and boundariesLeave and cleave, applied. Holidays, phone calls, and who comes first now.
- Month 8Time and the division of labourWho does what at home, the calendar, protected time, and the mental load.
- Month 9Faith as a couplePraying together, devotions, and handling disagreements about church.
- Month 10Friendships and communityFriends of your own, couple friends, and mentors who get to see your marriage.
- Month 11Vision and the long arcKids, career, where you live, ministry. Now you have the skills to talk about it.
- Month 12The year-one auditWhich defaults did you change, which did you inherit, and what to keep working on in year two.
Giving it as a gift
How the gift works
It’s usually given by someone who loves the couple: parents, friends, a pastor. It’s a better wedding present than another set of towels.
- You buy the gift. Lessons only, or coaching for 3 months, 6 months or the full year.
- You register the couple. Add their names and email. You get a personal invite and a certificate to send them, or we email them for you.
- Their lessons start that week. With coaching, they also book a free intro call, where we put faces to names and confirm it’s a fit before the first call goes on the calendar.
What stays private
Everything the couple talks about in coaching stays between them and Jay Dee. The giver is the giver, not a stakeholder. You’ll only know whether they’re showing up and engaging, never what they discuss.
For churches
Running this with several couples?
Pastors and marriage ministries can take a group of newlywed couples through the first year together. We send the 48 weekly lessons straight to each couple: $69 per couple for 1 to 9 couples, $59 for 10 to 24, and $49 for 25 or more. After checkout you register your couples, and their lessons start that week. Each couple also gets a year in our newlywed forum, alongside couples from everywhere rather than people from their own church, so it’s easier to ask the real questions.
Two ways to run it
- We deliver the lessons to each couple directly, every week, plus a year in the newlywed forum. From $69 per couple.
- A leader kit, so your church runs it yourselves. $249 a year per church, coming soon: ask us.
Questions
Before you decide
Who is this for?
Couples in their first year of marriage, or about to start it. It works best when you both want it. If one of you is keen and the other is rolling their eyes, that’s worth knowing up front.
What if we’re not a good fit?
With the coaching option, there’s a free intro call before anything starts, so all three of us can confirm it’s right before the year begins. For anything else, see our refund policy.
Is this only for Christians?
It’s rooted in a Christian view of marriage: covenant, grace and repair. Scripture is the lens, never a weapon. If you’re open to that frame, you’ll feel at home here.
Do both of us get the lessons?
Yes. Buying for yourselves, the lessons go to the email on the order: reply to any lesson to add your spouse. Giving it as a gift, you can add both of their addresses when you register them.
Is coaching the same as therapy?
No. Coaching is built for couples who are mostly doing fine and want to stay that way. If one of you needs trauma work, addiction recovery or psychiatric support, coaching can sit alongside that, but it can’t replace it.
Start the year on purpose
The patterns get written either way
This year, write them on purpose. Start with the lessons, or bring a coach along for the year.