Foundation
Sex as God designed it
A biblical view of married sex for couples who mostly heard “don’t.” What it’s for, why it matters, and how to talk about it.
Christian marriage and intimacy speaker
I’m Jay Dee. For over a decade I’ve answered the questions married Christians struggle to ask out loud. I’ll bring that to your group: plain, biblical teaching, pitched for a church room, so couples go home with hope and a next step.
Jay Dee, Uncovering Intimacy · 669 articles · 166 podcast episodes · 13,000+ survey responses from married Christians
Why this is hard to book
Most marriage events cover communication, conflict and money, then stop at the bedroom door. Not because leaders don’t care, but because it’s hard to find someone who can talk about sex plainly without making the room cringe, or so vaguely that nobody learns anything.
Meanwhile the couples in your church are dealing with mismatched desire, pain, porn, old hurts, or years of avoiding the subject. Many have never heard anyone in church say that sex in marriage is good, holy, and worth working on.
When the church stays quiet about sex, couples will either learn from the internet, or they’ll learn that it’s shameful and not to be talked about, even in their own marriages.
Who you’d be bringing in
Christina and I started Uncovering Intimacy because we couldn’t find this kind of help for our own marriage. Since 2012 I’ve written about sex and marriage, hosted the Sex Within Marriage podcast, coached couples one on one, and gathered thousands of survey responses from married Christians.
That means I can speak to what couples rarely say in a church group: what Scripture says about it, what thousands of couples like them reported, and what to do next. Plain language, without shame and without being crude.
Recent teaching: monthly couples’ nights since January 2026, a virtual evening for a military marriage group in October 2026, and guest sessions at online marriage summits.
Want to vet me first? Read how I handle a hard question, or listen to an episode to hear how I talk.
After a marriage group night
“Having you just speak truth in love with such a peace filled attitude and certainty reawakened my hope in the truth.”
“It pours from you so naturally without judgment or condemnation... or anger for that matter. Your ministry helps me have hope that I can write my story.”
“It was a wonderful hour. As I drove home that night I was struck with a deep sense of peace from God.”
Kim, marriage group attendee
Topics
Pick one for a single session or combine several for a retreat. Every talk is tailored to your audience, your theme, and the level of detail we agree on.
Foundation
A biblical view of married sex for couples who mostly heard “don’t.” What it’s for, why it matters, and how to talk about it.
Couples
Desire differences are the most common struggle couples bring me. What causes them, what our surveys show, and practical ways to respond together.
Couples
Tools for the conversation most couples avoid: how to ask for what you want, how to say no kindly, and how to keep talking.
Newlyweds
For engaged and newly married couples: expectations, the first year, and habits for talking openly. Pairs with our newlywed curriculum.
Men
An honest session for men on getting free of porn and approaching intimacy with care for their wives.
Research
Findings from 13,000+ survey responses that surprise most couples, and what to do with them.
Your theme
Already planning a marriage series or retreat theme? Tell me about it in your inquiry and I’ll build to it.
What to expect
Before I prepare anything, we talk about who will be there and how much detail fits. A couples’ night and a mixed congregation need different approaches, and I’ll know which one I’m in.
You and your pastor see the outline before the event, so the topics and approach are agreed, not a surprise.
Anonymous Q&A is often the best part of the night. People send questions in writing or by text, so nobody has to ask out loud. I read them first and leave out anything that isn’t right for the room.
Couples leave with free follow-up: articles, podcast episodes and research at uncoveringintimacy.com. I teach and coach; when someone needs a doctor or counsellor, I’ll say so.
How it works
About two minutes. Share your possible date, audience and format. Rough plans are fine.
If I’m available, we set up a short call about your people, your goals and the format.
You get a proposal and outline. Once you accept it, the date is yours and I build the session for your group.
Fees and travel
Every event is different, so the proposal is built around yours. To help you plan a budget, here is where things usually start:
Inquiry
Share what you know so far. A settled date or full plan isn’t needed. I read every inquiry myself.
Questions organisers ask
No. I’m direct, but we agree the level of detail before the event and you see the outline first. Separate men’s and women’s sessions are an option if that suits your church better.
Review the outline before the event, read how I answer a hard question, or listen to a podcast episode. I’m also happy to get on a call with your leadership.
I will. I’m the speaker for every event booked through this page, in person or virtual.
Yes. Virtual sessions are live and on camera, on Zoom, Google Meet or your own platform, with time for questions at the end.
Yes. Hosts usually cover travel and lodging. Virtual sessions are an option when travel doesn’t fit.
Yes, with a different focus: God’s design for sex and preparing for marriage. My talks are written for adults.
Three to six months is ideal for an in-person event. Virtual sessions can often come together sooner.
See honorarium and travel above. If you have a budget, put it in the form; it helps me plan, and it never decides whether I reply.
For your bulletin or poster
Jay Dee is the founder of Uncovering Intimacy, a Christian ministry helping married couples build healthy, satisfying sex lives grounded in Scripture. Since 2012 he has written more than 600 articles, hosted the Sex Within Marriage podcast, coached couples one on one, and gathered more than 13,000 survey responses from married Christians. He speaks plainly about the topics most churches find hard to raise, without shame and without being crude. He and his wife Christina started the ministry together.
Use it as is or trim it. Need a logo or a graphic for your poster? Ask in your inquiry.
Hosting a podcast instead? Podcast and guest-writing requests go here.